The Kids are Alright

In my interminable quest to improve my writing, I’ve started to read the latest Harlan Coben book, Plot Twist.

Unlike his other books, this one is a memoir discussing his writing process, among other topics.

While I am only a few chapters into the book, he has a quote which has stuck with me.

It echoes the question I get most: “How do you figure out what to write each week?”

This framework plays well with Mrs. BTG.

“Golf today? Again!?” or, a personal favorite, “You bought another golf polo?”

“It’s for content.”

As I conversed with a friend not too long ago, the words of Coben echoed in my head as we started to discuss the age demographics and cultural shift at his golf club…

The role of kids at golf and country clubs, say forty years ago, was cut-and-dry.

Generally speaking, children of members were not permitted or allowed to play golf or dine at the club until they were adults. There was a clear line of demarcation.

As we discussed his home club, the changing demographics and the “Old Guard” came up.

Below is a partial transcript of our conversation, to get you up to speed:

Friend: The old guard has gone to Florida but most are at either (redacted) or (redacted) which are better golf courses

It’s become much more kid-friendly than when I was growing up. Like it used to be very unwelcoming to kids but now they’ve got kids camp and all sorts of programming for them. Not sure if the old guard is too happy about that

BTG: Interesting. I think it's important for nicer clubs to integrate kids if possible. But also important to enforce standards on those kids if that makes sense.

kinda how clubs breed the next generation

instill the traditions and expectations early

Friend: 100%. Something (my club) is failing at. Our old pro’s wife (assistant pro) used to ruin us for untucked shirts, missing belts, etc. now our new slob assistant pro has his shirt tails out half the time.

The age old question of “when is the game sufficiently grown?” Or even can you grow the game without softening on tradition

BTG: how can you compare topgolf and simulator stuff to rounds at (redacted) or (redacted)? It's not even the same sport at that point.

So it's not really a question of growth but more of education. I think the growth question has been solved already

Friend: Yeah people aren’t really willing to be educated. They are extremely spiteful of the “old guard”

BTG: Agreed, and that's a shame

The best way to counteract that feeling is to be raised from a young age at places where manners and etiquette matter.

but that's getting harder to do these days…

A few key points arise in this exchange:

My friend’s most astute point is people “aren’t willing to be educated”. Taken out of context this seems harsh, but when we examine how quickly the game has grown, it isn’t a farfetched claim.

As the broader etiquette of society has deteriorated over the past half-century, the role of manners and comportment at nice establishments has also diminished commensurately. We don’t behave like we used to.

On the bright side, one place where this trend can be reversed is at golf clubs where a level of decorum is strictly enforced.

It’s easier to teach kids fundamental etiquette at places where it is expected and required. Kids are, in essence, tiny walking mirrors.

Showing them how to behave properly, especially when everyone else at the club is behaving in the same way, makes the learning process straightforward.

Any member of the “Old Guard” in today’s game who pushes back against the integration of children into the club atmosphere is lost.

The quickest way to rectify the feelings of the older generations is through etiquette education at a young age. The most efficient method to achieve this is through an early introduction to club culture when possible. I realize not everyone has access to clubs, which is genuinely why I write this publication each week.

The staff at any club should be empowered to enforce the rules of the club. As I write this out, I can see how this is a slippery slope. If you have an experience or thoughts on this matter, I’d be keen to hear.

It’s probably worth an entire post, now that I think about it?

Golf has forked into many different realities. Imagine someone’s first ever experience of “golf” is a night at TopGolf with his buddies. They drink beers, goof off, and hit balls without any consequence.

Now imagine his second experience ever is at 8:30am the next morning at Shinnecock.

I felt anxious just writing that sentence. Both activities are technically captured under the “golf” umbrella.

How can someone possibly prepare themselves for every situation golf presents? Unless you have a spare five years on your hands (or read this publication, ha!), it’s a difficult task.

As I wrote this, I reached out to some folks who are a bit older and have lived through this Renaissance of golf club culture. I learned more than what I can fit in this post, so I will call this part one of a two part series, to be completed next week.

Stay tuned.